Warning: this is gonna be a rant!
Give me any word and I can show you how it comes from the Greek. Take for example politics; poly is the word for many and ticks is obviously the word to describe the annoying little bugs or informally your boss. So based on it's Greek etymology, politicks is a bunch of little bugs. Only problem is that THEY RUN MY LIFE.
So I wanna get something to eat, so I walk into a store, find a carton of Tillamook ice cream, and eat it. Guess what, some little ticks in a big expensive building decided that they're gonna put me in jail for that. No problem they're little bugs and I'm a farmboy, except for the fact that they pay some big dudes to take my money from me to pay them, the big dudes, and some idiots. They also pay these big dudes to put me in jail for them, so they don't get smushed by this medium size dude. Yeah, so politicks messes up my life.
What really messes up my life though is stuff like having to write on politicks. I REALLY, SERIOUSLY, KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT IT ALREADY! So I don't really like writing about how stupid of stuff people are doing and the smart thing which would fix their stupidity and know that nobody is going to do it. GRHH
So the truly smart, and terribly intimidating thing, which is totally not my thing to do is...act. That means actually go and tell those ticks what I think they should do and if that don't work try to steal their jobs from them. So that's why I don't like politicks A. They're a pain cause they mess up my life, by telling me what I can and can't do B. They mess up my life by somehow becoming the subject of my skool...particularly writing C. They mess up my life by trying to become my life. AHHH........
I'm way to tired and lazy to edit this right now so I might later.
This is what makes up for politicks...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Redneck Sensitivity Training Part 2.
First off, if you're an English teacher or anyone else who cares about writing being orderly...get lost...I'm serious. All you've gotta do is read this post and you'll probably get lost. Today I'm feeling inspiration to write, but have no inspiration for how to organize my writing. So I'm not.
The reason I'm writing this post is that rednecks cook, cyclists cook, and even fashion aficionados cook, not to mention home-skoolers. Rednecks cook cause they're hungry and ma went to town, so they whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies (nobody mentioned that you actually bake them). Cyclists cook for two reasons. They burn a lot of calories riding their bikes all day, which makes them eat so much nobody else wants to cook for them. Or, it's the off season and they're trying to keep their form, so they eat so little that they want it to taste really good. Thus, they make gourmet-ish food for themselves. And as for fashion aficionados, looking good will get you the girl, but cooking for her keeps her (if you're good that is). Home-skoolers cook cause, well if you do your skool at home there are certain things you learn pretty well. Suffice to say, I cook (part of this also has to do with two sisters who make you learn how to do it).
Some things I learned the hard way while cooking are. Don't mess with yeast. This sounds simple, however yeast sneaks up on you. You're doing your geometry homework and think to yourself, "I want something circular, like a donut." So you look through the cookbook and find a recipe for donuts. Got the ingredients? Check. Got the time? Check. Half an hour later you notice is says something about it taking an hour to rise. You take a closer look and sure enough not only is there yeast in the recipe, it also has to rise for an hour twice, and it hast to be refrigerated for four hours. Hmm, I guess their estimated time only includes the time which they think you'll spend mixing stuff up.
Also, frozen bread heats a lot faster in a microwave than frozen vegetables. I needed to thaw out some dinner rolls and was like, "this much frozen corn would take about eight minutes to heat, so I'll give the rolls five minutes and see how they come out." At four minutes I saw smoke pouring out of the microwave, so I killed it. For weeks afterward anything you heated in that microwave had a "smoked" flavor.
People are lying when they say, "just do this" and then give you a set of directions for how to fix up some filet minion or something. What they mean is just do what I told you and about ten other things anybody, but a total idiot would know to do. What they are unaware of is...they're talking to that total idiot. Seriously why would you turn on the oven before you put the cookies in?=These cookies are well, um very doughy. When it said "punch the dough," I thought it actually meant for me to "punch the dough"=You could call this Chevy Bread it's "like a rock." You actually put flour on your hands, before working the dough?=Help! I can't get my hands out of this dough! You put butter in the pan before you fry the eggs?=I think you're gonna need to use the pan for you plate...and sorry about it being a little black.
For the record though: I have better than a 50% success rate for cooking projects, I have never caused food poisoning (unlike some people working in the kitchen at a camp I was at...), I absolutely love chocolate chip cookies (my birthday is on friday...and if you email me I'll send you my address...), I have made baked donuts, fried donuts, and pretzels (they all tasted good...and had yeast in them), and I don't really enjoy cooking.
The reason I'm writing this post is that rednecks cook, cyclists cook, and even fashion aficionados cook, not to mention home-skoolers. Rednecks cook cause they're hungry and ma went to town, so they whip up a batch of chocolate chip cookies (nobody mentioned that you actually bake them). Cyclists cook for two reasons. They burn a lot of calories riding their bikes all day, which makes them eat so much nobody else wants to cook for them. Or, it's the off season and they're trying to keep their form, so they eat so little that they want it to taste really good. Thus, they make gourmet-ish food for themselves. And as for fashion aficionados, looking good will get you the girl, but cooking for her keeps her (if you're good that is). Home-skoolers cook cause, well if you do your skool at home there are certain things you learn pretty well. Suffice to say, I cook (part of this also has to do with two sisters who make you learn how to do it).
Some things I learned the hard way while cooking are. Don't mess with yeast. This sounds simple, however yeast sneaks up on you. You're doing your geometry homework and think to yourself, "I want something circular, like a donut." So you look through the cookbook and find a recipe for donuts. Got the ingredients? Check. Got the time? Check. Half an hour later you notice is says something about it taking an hour to rise. You take a closer look and sure enough not only is there yeast in the recipe, it also has to rise for an hour twice, and it hast to be refrigerated for four hours. Hmm, I guess their estimated time only includes the time which they think you'll spend mixing stuff up.
Also, frozen bread heats a lot faster in a microwave than frozen vegetables. I needed to thaw out some dinner rolls and was like, "this much frozen corn would take about eight minutes to heat, so I'll give the rolls five minutes and see how they come out." At four minutes I saw smoke pouring out of the microwave, so I killed it. For weeks afterward anything you heated in that microwave had a "smoked" flavor.
People are lying when they say, "just do this" and then give you a set of directions for how to fix up some filet minion or something. What they mean is just do what I told you and about ten other things anybody, but a total idiot would know to do. What they are unaware of is...they're talking to that total idiot. Seriously why would you turn on the oven before you put the cookies in?=These cookies are well, um very doughy. When it said "punch the dough," I thought it actually meant for me to "punch the dough"=You could call this Chevy Bread it's "like a rock." You actually put flour on your hands, before working the dough?=Help! I can't get my hands out of this dough! You put butter in the pan before you fry the eggs?=I think you're gonna need to use the pan for you plate...and sorry about it being a little black.
For the record though: I have better than a 50% success rate for cooking projects, I have never caused food poisoning (unlike some people working in the kitchen at a camp I was at...), I absolutely love chocolate chip cookies (my birthday is on friday...and if you email me I'll send you my address...), I have made baked donuts, fried donuts, and pretzels (they all tasted good...and had yeast in them), and I don't really enjoy cooking.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Freak!
It's true! I'm an honest to goodness tech freak. This has been revealed to me through a plethora (big word for a lot) of experiences.
First, one thing I've noticed about the people I know who are techies is that they rant...like really rant...for up to an hour...about some minuscule little thing. Like who cares that 62% of people are using the lousy browser called Internet Explorer, cause they don't know any better (luckily I'm only offending 13% of the visitors to my blog by trashing the browser they are using). Seriously, I want to go and inflict physical harm on the idiots who decide to install that as the default browser, instead of some faster and more useful browser like Firefox or Chrome. If they simply installed Mozilla as the default browser they would save millions of hours of people's time.That could save the economy, if people had more hours to spend working instead of waiting for their web browser to open (I do admit though that if offices banned the use of the internet it would increase productivity more). If that was all a lot of Latin to you, I'm just freaking out over what program is pre-installed on computers.
Also, I talk gibberish. I think I'm having this great conversation with someone and then I look at their face, which says "um, um, okay." Because it seems they don't even have a fundemental understanding of Facebook, Twitter, Flock, Digsby, and Google, let alone understand the underlying principles of social media and networking.
Third, I hate people's HDTVs. Part of my problem is my 20/20 vision. The other part is I know that you aren't supposed to see the little blocks which make up the picture. Either you need a TV that is so Hi-Definition that the pixels (blocks of color the picture is made out of) are too small to be distinguished or you just should use an old one, which isn't pixel based.
On top of all that, I dream of the perfect computer set up. It involves three 27" monitors, 12 gb of RAM, quad core processors, 7200 RPM 2 TB hard drives, 20 USB ports, dual install of XP and 7 Ultimate, three DVD/Blu-ray/CD Rom read write drives, a floppy drive, four firewire ports, a couple of card readers, Bose surround sound, a projector, a MacPro on the side, along with a Macbook air, and a luxury HP laptop. And that's just the beginning...
As you might have noticed I've been spending some time on the social media end of things, creating a Facebook page and a Twitter account for The Home Skooled. Please "Follow" and "Fan" me, so you can get daily humor, along with knowing when I've updated the blog.
First, one thing I've noticed about the people I know who are techies is that they rant...like really rant...for up to an hour...about some minuscule little thing. Like who cares that 62% of people are using the lousy browser called Internet Explorer, cause they don't know any better (luckily I'm only offending 13% of the visitors to my blog by trashing the browser they are using). Seriously, I want to go and inflict physical harm on the idiots who decide to install that as the default browser, instead of some faster and more useful browser like Firefox or Chrome. If they simply installed Mozilla as the default browser they would save millions of hours of people's time.That could save the economy, if people had more hours to spend working instead of waiting for their web browser to open (I do admit though that if offices banned the use of the internet it would increase productivity more). If that was all a lot of Latin to you, I'm just freaking out over what program is pre-installed on computers.
Also, I talk gibberish. I think I'm having this great conversation with someone and then I look at their face, which says "um, um, okay." Because it seems they don't even have a fundemental understanding of Facebook, Twitter, Flock, Digsby, and Google, let alone understand the underlying principles of social media and networking.
Third, I hate people's HDTVs. Part of my problem is my 20/20 vision. The other part is I know that you aren't supposed to see the little blocks which make up the picture. Either you need a TV that is so Hi-Definition that the pixels (blocks of color the picture is made out of) are too small to be distinguished or you just should use an old one, which isn't pixel based.
On top of all that, I dream of the perfect computer set up. It involves three 27" monitors, 12 gb of RAM, quad core processors, 7200 RPM 2 TB hard drives, 20 USB ports, dual install of XP and 7 Ultimate, three DVD/Blu-ray/CD Rom read write drives, a floppy drive, four firewire ports, a couple of card readers, Bose surround sound, a projector, a MacPro on the side, along with a Macbook air, and a luxury HP laptop. And that's just the beginning...
As you might have noticed I've been spending some time on the social media end of things, creating a Facebook page and a Twitter account for The Home Skooled. Please "Follow" and "Fan" me, so you can get daily humor, along with knowing when I've updated the blog.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
You know it's wet when...
Where I live there are two seasons. In most locations in the U.S. there are four distinct seasons: Summer, Fall, Winter, and Spring. They are easily distinguished by natives to the area by the change in flora (plants), fauna (animals), the decorations in the stores, the clothes people wear, and most of all by the weather. But alas, where I live there are simply two indistinct seasons (okay, if you walk into a store than you can easily tell what season the rest of the world thinks it is) these seasons are: The Rainy Season and The Rainier Season. In honor of it being The Rainier Season, I figured I'd put together a list of ways you know it's wet. As you've probably noticed I like lists, this indicates my incredible, natural amount of organization, however since I figure you might be getting bored with numbered lists I decided I'd use an eclectic variety of symbols instead (yeah, yeah, yeah I admit it's just that lists are easier and faster to write, not that I'm that organized). So you know it's wet when:
~You get back from a bike ride and weigh eight pounds more than when you left, because of all the water in your clothes.
%You'd rather do skool than check the mail box.
#Your chickens actually go in their coop.
*Your mom/wife actually tries to convince you to wear a coat.
!Your invincible quad get's stuck in the mud.
$You get shocked by the electric fence when the hay you are holding touches it.
+You actually wish you lived in California.
P.S. Feel free to add your own in the comment box.
~You get back from a bike ride and weigh eight pounds more than when you left, because of all the water in your clothes.
%You'd rather do skool than check the mail box.
#Your chickens actually go in their coop.
*Your mom/wife actually tries to convince you to wear a coat.
!Your invincible quad get's stuck in the mud.
$You get shocked by the electric fence when the hay you are holding touches it.
+You actually wish you lived in California.
P.S. Feel free to add your own in the comment box.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Murphy's Law
Suffice to say...it's true. One of the best examples is a simple thing called a bike ride. Seriously, all ya gotta do is grab your bike, put on a helmet, and take off. Only problem is when your cycling kit (kit is cycle lingo for clothes) is sopping wet from your ride in a thunder storm yesterday and you can't find a way to get it dry. Okay, that's not the only problem. On top of that you just replaced your tires (because they are worn out and you got a flat yesterday during the thunder storm) and your back wheel doesn't want to stay on right any more.
With your desperate array of tools (I'm on vacation and all useful tools at the cabin seem to have disappeared) you tighten your wheel into place and ride off in your soggy kit. But low and behold your tire wasn't tight enough, so you return to the cabin and tighten it again. Now you're finally off...except that your front brake loosened up during all this fixing of stuff so you have to tighten it up. Yay, off we ride!
After a couple blocks, you come to the highway, which you've gotta cross with no stop light. Once it looks clear you start to ride a cross, then your bike stops rolling right in the middle of the road. Hmm, I think the back wheel came loose AGAIN! Time to practice your bike-a-hopping as you try to get out of the way of the log truck. Safely on the other side you attempt to tighten your wheel without any tools. Magically it works, no more wheel problems.
Now it's time for your twenty mile ride in a twenty five mile an hour wind. As I'm cruising along in my top gear at twenty five miles an hour, I analyze how I'm gonna ride back. If I put it in my lowest gear I should be able to grind home into the thirty mile an hour gusts. I enjoy the feeling of riding along in what feels like the eye of a hurricane.
After I've ridden about ten miles, I decide to turn around. *SNAP* my derailleur cable just broke (that's part of the thing-a-ma-jigger that shifts gears). On top of that, as I'm pulling off to the side of the road, I'm to focused on trying to figure out what just happened and miss that there's a three inch log on the shoulder. Let's just say I and my bike tipped over rather quickly. So after inspecting it I figure out that my bike will still work...in top gear. I had the pleasure of riding home in my top gear against that twenty five mile an hour wind. So to sum it all up, without Murphy's Law life just wouldn't thrust the epic upon us...
...in other words it would be perfect.
With your desperate array of tools (I'm on vacation and all useful tools at the cabin seem to have disappeared) you tighten your wheel into place and ride off in your soggy kit. But low and behold your tire wasn't tight enough, so you return to the cabin and tighten it again. Now you're finally off...except that your front brake loosened up during all this fixing of stuff so you have to tighten it up. Yay, off we ride!
After a couple blocks, you come to the highway, which you've gotta cross with no stop light. Once it looks clear you start to ride a cross, then your bike stops rolling right in the middle of the road. Hmm, I think the back wheel came loose AGAIN! Time to practice your bike-a-hopping as you try to get out of the way of the log truck. Safely on the other side you attempt to tighten your wheel without any tools. Magically it works, no more wheel problems.
Now it's time for your twenty mile ride in a twenty five mile an hour wind. As I'm cruising along in my top gear at twenty five miles an hour, I analyze how I'm gonna ride back. If I put it in my lowest gear I should be able to grind home into the thirty mile an hour gusts. I enjoy the feeling of riding along in what feels like the eye of a hurricane.
After I've ridden about ten miles, I decide to turn around. *SNAP* my derailleur cable just broke (that's part of the thing-a-ma-jigger that shifts gears). On top of that, as I'm pulling off to the side of the road, I'm to focused on trying to figure out what just happened and miss that there's a three inch log on the shoulder. Let's just say I and my bike tipped over rather quickly. So after inspecting it I figure out that my bike will still work...in top gear. I had the pleasure of riding home in my top gear against that twenty five mile an hour wind. So to sum it all up, without Murphy's Law life just wouldn't thrust the epic upon us...
...in other words it would be perfect.
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