Vegetative

As any regular readers of this fine internet-ized publication have discovered...I have been posting much like maybe once or twice in the last six months...but art takes inspiration...and inspiration takes time...or an impatient publisher...and I haven't had either...so yeah, things haven't been happening much over here. As a result of all these incredible factors I'm declaring this blog to be in a vegetative state. Occasionally signs of life might emanate from here...but don't get your hopes up...you can if you really want...but I take no responsibility for your faith and hope to plummeting like a president's popularity ratings.

How not to make a statement

You're moving from preppy town to hickville and you don't wanna be labelled the city kid just cause you don't know what to wear? No worries, dressing like a proper hick is easier than you'd think. First...don't buy overalls and a straw hat...or you may be shot on site. Find some skate shoes...yes, I'm talking about the ugly lumps of shoes that the kids in v-necks and skinny jeans wear. Then buy double knee logger Carhartts...not the canvas things and not Levi's. Once you've got that covered you've gotta couple choices...you can get an American Eagle belt...or you can get some red suspenders that criss-cross in the back if you're really feeling your inner logger. Next is the shirt, get a t-shirt one size too big and cut the sleeves off...but this not so you can show off your major lack of muscle...instead wear a team hoody over the top...state championship ones are the best, but anything for your team will do. You're looking pretty good eh? Last but not least is getting the hair cut...something that leaves hair on your head but short enough you can't really gel it. Good, now just buy a jacked up Toyota and you're ready to roll.

I'm going philosophical today...I've probably had somebody playing Simon and Garfunkel for me while I'm asleep. Music is such an expression of one's view of life, but that makes my collection of music kinda disturbing. I think I have about ten different views of life that I cycle through, along with happier and melodramatically depressed moods. For starters there are a couple good country moods I get in: There's the redneck happy go lucky style like the song "That's How Country Boys Roll" by Billy Currington, then sometimes I'm feeling more like the worn out rock'n chair on the front porch and Rascal Flatts come to mind, of course you can't miss out on the pop country crazed teenager moods of Taylor Swift and some Colbie Caillat. 

From here on things get weirder...like lets head over to Indie/Alternative/whatever on the more normal end is chill'n out and tuning the world out with Snow Patrol and "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay, and then there's the crazy Canadian stuff like, ahem...how to put this, well there's BNL with songs like "Shopping" and "Take it Outside" or even better the deep insights and thoughtfulness of the "Arrogant Worms." For some true philisophical 70's 'esqe stuff I'll occasionally turn on Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz, and Ingrid Michaelson...but those folks get a little weird after a while (not as much as my Enya album though). 

For true folksy stuff, I've gotta couple of samplers of American and Celtic folk...but if you thought country songs where your wife leaves, your truck gets totaled, and your house gets foreclosed on are bad, you haven't heard the joys of your wife dieing in your arms, all your kids dieing from starvation, your house burning, your horse kicking your guts out before running off, not to mention the pretty flower you picked for your dieing wife wilted being so beautifully brought out by the screeching of a violin in a folk song. For some happier folk stuff I listen to Pop/Opera/Celtic  stuff like Celtic Woman and Celtic Thunder. When I'm feeling like hearing some good voiced I go over and listen to some Il Divo or Josh Groban popera. 

Then I've got my "Christian" collection which ranges from Indie stuff like Remedy Drive and Phil Wickham, regular worship songs by TeenPact, and even some hymns somewhere in there...which leads to something that just doesn't connect to anything...Owl City, my favorite and almost impossible to categorize music. Think of an insomniac who does electronic mixes of really melodic and happy music...and also has done some acoustic projects...

To fill in the other hard to connect ones, I listen to doo wop (fifties sorta rock'n roll) the Beach Boys, Franks Sinatra, Celine Dion and Backstreet Boys (not much...sticky love songs get weird pretty quick), and some various soundtracks. Not to be forgotten are all the Christmas albums I have by these artists.

So now I'll give you a playlist of some of my favorites:

When I Die

I can't remember how, but as a typical family discussion ran along, it ended up on me dieing and my obituary. I came to realize, with very little thought, that I couldn't handle all the mistakes that some idiot other than me writing my obituary might make (no offense to any close family members who assumed they'd get the honor of screwing it up). So I figured that it would be best to write one up here and now.

He was a kinda simple guy really, born, lived, and died in the same little town. He slept in the same bed, wore the same kinda awesome jeans (he got a bit stuck in the bootcut fad), brushed the same teeth since he lost last baby tooth at about eight, he even went to the same skool his whole live short life. To sum things up, if given the chance, he sure as anything wouldn't vote for change.

Although he wasn't into changing, he had a solid grasp on where he was...he had this nasty habit of just looking at people with this odd and thoughtful expression on his face...what he was thinking was, "God's great, beer's (ahem, rootbeer's) good, and people are kerazeeee!" He worked very hard on making that the third part of this statement remained well proven and true and even happened to use a blog to document this fact. And then one day...well he died...and since this is an obituary we can't really say why...even though we know you really want to know...it's just against the rules...and you know how people are about rules...