Friday, April 9, 2010

Home Skool Style 101

You know what I'm talking about. When you're walking through Walmart, the park, or eating at Denny's, you simply know that that person over there is home skooled. They don't have to have their nose in a book or have ten brothers and sisters with them, you can simply tell by their style. Today I'm gonna give you a guide to achieving the home skooled look.

First, I'll address the crossing of your "t"s and dotting your "i"s of home skool style. Tuck in your shirt, no matter what it needs to be tucked in. Next find all the buttons, snaps, and zippers on your clothes. Button, snap, and zip them. Now that we've got that over with we'll get to some finer details, from the bottom up.

Shoes, tennis shoes do well. You can also go for dress shoes, hiking boots, or cowboy boots. Do NOT wear flip flops, skate shoes, or Converse.

Socks, you've got a lot of options here. No socks works, so does anything else. Mismatched adds a nice bit of flavor, but is optional.

Pants, evenly washed, regular fit Levi, Arizona, or Wrangler brand jeans. If you feel extreme pull out some Dockers. The key is to get the correct fit. First find what size waist fits comfortably, then go up or down one size from that. Second find what length will barely touch your shoe, then buy one size shorter.

Belt, skip it. If desperate use suspenders.

Watch, digital watch with a gigantic face, set to beep every hour.

Shirt, Make sure that the shoulder seam is one to two inches wider that your shoulders. If it has long sleeves find  ones that come two inches short of reaching your wrists. Thou shalt NOT have any brand name of ANY sort printed upon your shirt...except Carhart.

Hair, more options again. You can do nothing with your hair after getting out of bed in the morning, if you feel like being simple. However if feeling determined to master the look, you can force your hair into something resembling Jimmy Stewart's, but do not, I repeat DO NOT use hair product of any type (for folks like me that forces me to be lazy, cause my hair is rather um, defiant).

This completes Home Skool Style 101.

Warning: This look may cause your friends to instantly disappear and inspire awkward questions from others. It's NOT guaranteed to attract beautiful girls, however with the proper amount of prep it has been known to do so.