Gutters in the Attic

"Well that wasn't the plan, but long story short, well you know how it goes." It's kinda hard to explain to your friend why you're covered in wet insulation.

"Um, no I don't know how that one goes. Seriously, what's the long story for how you got yourself covered in stink'n insulation?" Says my friend Jordan, who just doesn't get it.

"You're sure ya want the long story?"

"What did I just say, man?"

"Okay, okay, okay, last night we had what would've been The Big Storm. We got the 70-80 mile per hour gusts, handful of inches of rain and all that. Problem was that we were replacing the roof."

"Would've been The Big Storm?"

"'K, short history lesson. This year's storm would've been The Big Storm, except that last year we had a storm where it dumped rain like crazy and it just about flooded the house. That would've been The Big Storm, except for the year before that. 'Cause that year we had this really big wind and rain storm which blew over close to half of the woods, which didn't do the loggers no favors. And in that storm it knocked out the power for a couple days, and flooded out the next valley over, making it The Big Storm. Even though the year before we had named that winters storm The Big Storm for other various reasons. So yeah, we'd got a carpenter friend of ours to pull off the roof and he started putting on some new shingles when the weather gets a bit wet, so he figures he'd better seal stuff up. He tar-papered the whole thing, which should keep all the rain from leak'n through."

"Dude, why do you put tar paper on your roof? Even I know paper isn't water proof."

"Jordan, you are a city boy! Paper ain't water proof, but if ya soak it in tar it is. He had that paper on good and tight. No water was gonna get through it, but then we heard there was high wind warning, but we were still like "no worries, this can handle a little wind." As usual though, it wasn't a little wind, it was a BIG wind. Dur'n the evening my mom comes down the stairs from her room freak'n out like crazy. It seems that there was water pour'n through the ceiling into her room and just about every where else too."

"So maybe your tar paper leaked?"

"Well after setting up margarine tubs and anything else we could think of under the leaks, we went to see what we could see. And there was that tar paper hanging off the edge of the roof, most of the way torn off."

"I thought you put that tar paper on tight."

"There's a difference between tight and hurricane proof. When the wind came through it just caught an edge and ripped the 'ole thing off. We gave our carpenter friend a call and he came over as fast as he could, but he had to drive from the other side of what you city folk would call a mountain range. While we were waiting for him to come and put the roof back on, my dad n' I went up in the attic and started trying to stop the drips up there. Only problem is that when your roof is miss'n, there is drips everywhere."

"Time to get a ton of margarine tubs!"

"Well, that idea didn't get us to far, but then my dad remembered that out in the barn he had some ol' gutter, so while he kept mess'n around in the sopp'n wet insulation and margarine tubs, I ran an' gotta couple pieces of that gutter. And what do ya know? We got some proper plumbing up there."

"So did your carpenter dude ever show up?"

"Yeah, about time we got the aqueducts perfected he shows up. After just about getting blown off the roof a couple times he got the paper back down solid and tight enough to be hurricane proof and headed home. So looong story short, I think we'll get to do some redecorating to keep the mom happy."