Sock 'em

Yeah, I'm back from my impromptu blogging vacation with a yet another style oriented post. Nobody really talks about socks...well except for their ability to trigger the olfactory gland. Anyways I think it's a super important thingy, because well if you mess it up your totally screwed.

So rule number one, make sure they're clean...no more details needed.
Rule number two, make sure they're the same color. If you are not sure about this ask your sister or mom, they'll know.
Rule number three, stained socks are ugly so, either A. Throw away your fifty dollar-a-sock-(not a pair)-uber-sweat-and-you-don't-want-to-know-resistant-white-gym-socks as soon as they get a stain on them from running the trash can to the end of the driveway at 4 A.M. because you forgot about it the night before, or B. wear black socks. Black socks have some real advantages, like they're black and well black is cool, also once you come to appreciate the value of your socks not showing stains you take advantage of it by wiping off grease and blood on them when there isn't a rag or anything handy (don't mention this to whoever does the laundry though, it takes enough guts to wash your socks without knowing that).
Rule number four, when dressing up wear black socks or socks of the same color as your pants except darker and you shouldn't get into to much trouble.
Rule number five, when wearing pants people should never see above the top of your socks, unless your doing the weird short-pants-no-socks-thing in that case you probably have no reason to be reading this.
Rule number six, forget all previous rules when doing odd socks i.e. stripy, mix-matched, toe socks, cartoon print etc.
Rule number six point one, only wear odd socks in the appropriate situation. In other words if you're wondering if it's okay and nobody else is doing it you probably shouldn't be doing it either. For example don't wear bright red socks to a a Yankee game, it's a bad idea...as in after beating you to death with those massive foam hand things, they'll just write a warning sign on you with leftover fries and ketchup and leave you there as an example to anyone else with such bad ideas...then a couple games later the ketchup will get to smelling so bad they'll dump you into the opposing teams dugout and let them deal with you...anyways I think you get the idea.
Rule number 7, if you broke all these rules (except six that is) for the majority of your childhood...don't worry I did too.