iHate

Would you like an iPod, an iTouch, an iPhone?

Oh, you're wanting an accessory to go with your iPod/iTouch/iPhone.

We have an iHome, an iSound, an iRock, an iRun, an iHome mini, an iFlow. What would you like your accessory to do?

Yes, we have lots of cases. There's the iPouch, the iStrap, the iCase, the iPack...

What kind of an iPod do you need a case for?

Heaven Save Us!!!! You? cough.. have a Sansa? gag...choke...

I'm sorry, but we don't carry Sansa cases, but could I interest you in an iPod, which we could also sell you a case for?

There's the iPod Nano which is only $149, or the iPod Classic which is $200, there's the iPhone which also functions as a cell phone, and if you simply love cruising the internet on a motor scooter there's the iTouch.

You want it to have built in speakers?

Well, it doesn't come with speakers, but for a minimal fee we could include a free speaker system with your iPod purchase.

You don't want an iPod?!?!?

Well you really do at least want an iScratch. It's great for that one itch you can't quite reach. And we also have the iAlarm with a digital display and iPod controller built in, which you'll simply love.

Your positive you don't want an iAlarm? Maybe it's just that your computer is a slow decrepit Windows. We have a great iMac which only costs $1,500 instead of a comparable Dell at $500.

Well that's rude! He just hung up on me. I guess I'll go back to reading my iBook.